Wednesday, April 09, 2014

Back Burners

                It’s happened again. I pushed my writing WORK to the back burner for drama within the family. Why do I do this? I guess the first step is recognizing the problem so I can proceed to the next step, changing the behavior.
                As “D” told me, my husband is an adult, my children all are adults. They all should be able to make their decisions and live with their consequences, and I should focus on my life, my goals and my challenges after raising my family and caring for my parents while they were living.
                That’s a pretty stiff order for someone who was raised to be so conscientious.
                “I think your mom worked a little too hard to make you responsible,” D said. And D is right, even though D never met my parents. D is very wise.
                I’ve always heard that Catholics master guilt and carry it always. I have to tell you, I am not Catholic, wasn’t raised Catholic, but Catholics didn’t corner the market on guilt. Is it because Mom would say, “I see guilt written all over your face” whether I was guilty or innocent?
                So, here I am at a juncture where I am setting boundaries and detaching myself from business that is no longer mine. I have taught my children what I know. I have assured them I will always be around when they need me. But I have some irons of my own in the fire and I’d like to work on those things, even if it now means I will be a Grandma Moses in literature. I don’t have time for any more back burners. As they say, “I’m burning daylight.”
                Look at Clint Eastwood. He’s the same age my mother would be if she was living. He is still active in his career, presenting important stories about life. Have you figured out yet that his spaghetti westerns also were political statements? Peel away the layers of the onion until you get to the core of it and you will see that everything is political in some way. Each artist presents his or her interpretation through their own skills and talents.
                So, today I am setting boundaries to prevent interruptions to my skill building and use of my gifts and talents given to me by God who created me. Whether the people in my life understand or not.
                Today I am detaching from others’ responsibilities and tending to my own.
                How about you?

©2014 Cathy Thomas Brownfield ~ All Rights Reserved.

1 comment:

The Journey said...

Oh Cathy- how I relate. I know some of my pain issues are because I stress about things within family. I don't know how to let go. My children "protect me" by don't tell mom sometimes as they know how I am.