It was one of those moments when I had to make a decision. It seems like lately (the last six months at least) I've been a big disappointment to folks. Commitment became failure because I couldn't honor the promises (commitments) I had made. One of the lessons I learned as a child was that when you make a promise, you keep it, no matter what you have to do. You never break your promises, your word.
Well, when circumstances say, "You don't have the money to do that," "You don't have the transportation to get there," "You have another priority that weighs heavier on you," well, you just...disappoint people.
So I was at another of those junctures. My friend needed to travel to Maine to do some research for her book. She couldn't go alone. I said, OK, we could go. Then reality hit. I wasn't going to have the money to go. I told her, I can't do it. I won't have the money. Then we talked. She really wanted to go. I knew I was letting her down bigtime. "OK. How much money do you think I'll need? I'll try to come up with it." Even as I was saying the words, I knew it was going to be some kind of challenge to make it all work.
Could I afford the trip? No. Was DH upset about me going on this trip? Yes. Did we talk it over and work it out, DH and I? Yes. Can I afford the trip? No. But I made a promise. My friend is always there for me. Can I do less for her? We WILL be making a trip to Maine before winter. We have to. SHE has to be there.
Maybe being away from my desk, my home, my family, for a week will be beneficial for my creativity. I received a rejection from a magazine I am trying to crack. It's not an easy one to get into. But they pay well, $1,800 for 1,000 words. There was an editor's handwritten message for me. Now, editors don't usually write handwritten messages unless the author has made some sort of impression. So, my goal while I'm gone is to 1.) Write a 1,000 word story to submit when I return and 2.) Write 5,000 words each day on this novel I'm toting around. Can I do it?
Well, we shall see, won't we?